Tuesday, May 18, 2010 @ 11:29 PM
Agony
Impression, isnt by what had I done to him,
Why is it that all of you seem to be "influenced" because of my doings to him ?
For these, you guys had an impression that I'm a bad girl, unreasonable, whatever. Yes, all of you said that I'm paranoid and being very unreasonable. Anyone ever thought of why ? I always remind myself of his doings, his.. betrayal ? Because I felt being deceived. You guys don't know the whole story, don't know about how hurtful his doings can be,
and yet, having gone through these, I still have to face up to you guys, who doesn't know the whole story and judge me by his sayings.
The fact is ; The 3 months, yes we broke up , but our relations was still like normal couple, he was devoted, he called me every night, sms me everyday. Behind my back, he's flirting with other girls. And stead with one of them after breaking for one month+ ? He was also flirting another girl, sms her like dont know what ~, and brought this girl home, twice, both were in the room and he hugged her (whether is it intentionally, I'm not too sure ). Its not that I never ask him about this before ( after we patched ), but he lied to me.
He merely denied everything. Some of you may say that he's afraid to admit because he don't want us to quarrel, or misunderstanding or he's afraid to hurt me. So, why was he doing this in the first place ? This was something I cannot accept. Once bitten twice shy, that's why I'm so paranoid now. If you guys were to put yourself into my shoes, can you imagine how hurtful was that ? Can you feel how I felt ? "Devoted", behind my back doing all sort of stuffs I can never expect him to ?
What's more, I have to face to the reputation and impression you guys had on me. It was obviously to the negative, yes I am paranoid, but have you ever asked yourself why ? Why is it that I'm the one being hurt then, was the one being, to you guys, "unreasonable and paranoid" ?
No I'm not trying to pick a fight here ys, its just that, I think I can't live up to the impression they had on me already. I guess it might take some time for me to forget about this.
It was far too much.
Why is it that all of you seem to be "influenced" because of my doings to him ?
For these, you guys had an impression that I'm a bad girl, unreasonable, whatever. Yes, all of you said that I'm paranoid and being very unreasonable. Anyone ever thought of why ? I always remind myself of his doings, his.. betrayal ? Because I felt being deceived. You guys don't know the whole story, don't know about how hurtful his doings can be,
and yet, having gone through these, I still have to face up to you guys, who doesn't know the whole story and judge me by his sayings.
The fact is ; The 3 months, yes we broke up , but our relations was still like normal couple, he was devoted, he called me every night, sms me everyday. Behind my back, he's flirting with other girls. And stead with one of them after breaking for one month+ ? He was also flirting another girl, sms her like dont know what ~, and brought this girl home, twice, both were in the room and he hugged her (whether is it intentionally, I'm not too sure ). Its not that I never ask him about this before ( after we patched ), but he lied to me.
He merely denied everything. Some of you may say that he's afraid to admit because he don't want us to quarrel, or misunderstanding or he's afraid to hurt me. So, why was he doing this in the first place ? This was something I cannot accept. Once bitten twice shy, that's why I'm so paranoid now. If you guys were to put yourself into my shoes, can you imagine how hurtful was that ? Can you feel how I felt ? "Devoted", behind my back doing all sort of stuffs I can never expect him to ?
What's more, I have to face to the reputation and impression you guys had on me. It was obviously to the negative, yes I am paranoid, but have you ever asked yourself why ? Why is it that I'm the one being hurt then, was the one being, to you guys, "unreasonable and paranoid" ?
No I'm not trying to pick a fight here ys, its just that, I think I can't live up to the impression they had on me already. I guess it might take some time for me to forget about this.
It was far too much.
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